Love is overrated. We fall in love, we’re happy, we get hurt, we’re unhappy. And then we fall in love again and it seems like each one knows the outcome but no one is concerned that the exact same thing might occur yet again.
I was aware of the fact that love is due to chemicals (including dopamine) in the brain, but I didn’t know that all these needs we feel when we’re in love come from the same region in the brain as well. What you’d call obsession is hereby explained scientifically? That’s weird. The need to be next to someone or to feel the need to cry when you hear a song that reminds you of someone that you loved/still do has always seemed a bit absurd to me but at least there’s a scientific explanation now, so the unhappy part of the population that is in love can now feel relieved that they’re not insane but just love-sick, and that it’s completely natural. What a relief!
What completely impressed me is that couples that claim to have been in love for over 25 years are still scientifically in love. If all love is, is a chemical process in the brain, then how could it possibly last so long? Does love fade because the region in the brain that used to be red on the MRI is no longer colorful? In most of the relationships I’ve had/observed that failed, there was a specific cause for the romance to be over, and that couldn’t have possibly been related to chemicals. I understand how love ‘works’ but it is a mystery to me as to when and with whom we fall in love and when we fall out of love.
At this point I’d like to say that I think that scientists shouldn’t go any further than this in their research about the origins of love. If you knew who you’d fall in love with (because of some specific chemicals or waves that are attracted to your body or whatever the reason might be…) there would be no mystery anymore and love would seem boring and not exciting. I don’t think it’s necessary to always understand everything that’s happening in our body because we aren’t designed to control life; we’re supposed to live it.
After all, love might not be overrated at all. Even though we now know where love happens, we still don’t understand it and we enjoy it when it lasts. The challenge is to know how to move on from a lost love to a new one (or to take a break, no need to constantly have someone…) and I believe that even Helen Fisher’s research isn’t going to solve that anytime soon.
